G'day there, those of you who know me well know that I am an addict in recovery. I am approaching my Sixteenth birthday of recovery and figured this is about equal to the years I spent in active addiction. With that in mind I have gathered some thoughts and smashed the keyboard a fair bit in an effort to explain this whole recovery deal to those who just don't know. Most importantly I have an overwhelming desire that just one person stuck in the disease will read this and turn around, if that were to happen the efforts would be all worthwhile.
What is recovery…. One persons view:
I was told early, in my recovery, that recovery was a gift from my higher power, an unwarranted unconditional gift of love and that all I had to do to keep it was embrace it and give it away. I soon learned that the more I gave it away the more I had.
I also learned, after much pain, that recovery was not only about not drinking or drugging, but rather, a process by which I learned to change those things in my life and in me that could lead me back to active use of substances.
That process is an ongoing journey that brings with it joy and happiness as well as allowing me to experience the pain of growth. It is a two edged sword that in time we learn to embrace with caution over time.
Recovery is 3 fold: Physical, emotional and spiritual. The physical recovery begins when we stop using substances and begin to allow our body to heal. That healing may include hospitalization for detox and stabilization. In other cases, we may sweat it out cold turkey at home or with another friend in recovery. But, physical recovery doesn't stop after our system is substance free. We need to continue to take care of it by proper nutrition and plenty of rest. For those folks familiar with the saying HALT, this is about the Hungry and Tired part of that equation.
The emotional part of recovery is ongoing and is more intense at different stages. This is when we learn to deal with life on life's terms, and begin to experience feelings that we buried for a long time or thought we would never experience. Some of these include fear, self-doubt, insecurity, guilt, remorse, shame, love, compassion, overwhelmed, happy, sad, angry, loss,
lonely, belonging, etc. and the list goes on. Feelings are not facts; they are based on our perceptions, old beliefs and life experiences. Therefore, in the recovery process we learn to embrace these feelings and put them in proper perspective in our lives. We no longer have to fear the feelings but rather face them and move on. This part of the recovery process deals with the Angry and Lonely part of HALT.
The third part of the recovery process deals with the spiritual. Spiritual is not just about embracing a God of our understanding, or for some folks a return to or a new beginning in a structured religion. It is about who we are, our sense of values and self-respect. It's about balance in our lives and love in our hearts. It's about being a good person who is sick working on getting well. It's about self-forgiveness and forgiveness of others. It's about peace of mind and calmness inside that is felt by others. Father Martin says something in one of his films about being able to tell when someone is in recovery because you can see it, hear it and feel it. There is a life and joy that cannot be missed. That is the gift of recovery in one person's view. Enjoy it, Embrace it and most of all Share it. The more you share it the more it grows.
Choose Life!
Addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Addiction is also incurable, progressive, and fatal! The miracle of recovery can return life back to the addict from the grip of the one who rides the pale horse, Death!
Addiction is a living problem and a thinking problem. Addiction is lack of power in one’s life. It is a mental obsession and a phenomenon of craving: a disease of the body and of the mind. The mental obsession allows the addict to continue to use despite negative consequences. It allows addicts to believe the lie: that they can be like everyone else. The phenomenon of craving, or allergy, or abnormal reaction, is set off when the addict uses their drug of choice. At this point, they lose the power of choice. A hopeless condition without the solution to the problem. Addiction is a malady of the spirit. “The man takes a drink, the drink takes a drink, then, the drink takes the man.”
The problem defines the solution. If the problem is lack of power, then the solution must be power. Belief in a Power greater than one’s self is the solution to addiction. A belief that their Higher Power can restore the addicted person to sanity. Once the problem and the solution are identified, a spiritual program of action is then needed to promote change in the addicted person. It is crucial that the addict both admit and accept that he or she has a problem, and that life has become unmanageable. This is a difficult situation because of delusion, or denial as some call it.
Because addiction is a living problem, and a thinking problem, the addicted person can not recover alone. The insanity of the mental obsession dictates that the addict will need help from a person, or persons that are no longer living in the grips of addiction. The addict will need a program of recovery, and a fellowship of recovery.
A sponsor is an addicted person, who is in recovery from addiction, and who has worked through the twelve steps of recovery. A sponsor is a guide to help the addicted person work through the twelve steps. It’s suggested that a sponsor be clean and sober for at least one year prior to taking on such a commitment. A sponsor should be a person that is a living example, who shows that recovery works! A sponsor is a part of the program of action, and the fellowship of recovery.
The fellowship of recovery is the addicted person’s support network. The support network is made up of other recovering groups and individuals. The fellowship of recovery includes meetings, a sponsor, sober friends, and sober functions. The addicted person should find a recovery group that will be considered their home group: a recovery meeting that they will attend weekly. There are several different types of recovery meetings, all types are beneficial to the addict.
Depending on the addicted person’s drug of choice, numerous support groups are available: Alcoholic’s Anonymous, Narcotic’s Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, and many others. There are different types of meetings within each group: step meetings, basic text meetings, discussion meetings, meditation meetings, speaker meetings, and several others. The addict may need to attend more than one fellowship; for example, a person who is addicted to cocaine and alcohol may choose to attend Alcoholic’s Anonymous and Narcotic’s Anonymous.
The addicted person may have problems that are outside of the scope of such recovery programs. Problems such as depression, mental disorders, physical problems, or any other problems that arise, should be handled by professionals in each specific field. There are also programs to help friends and family of the addict to cope with the problems associated with the disease of addiction. Al-Anon is such a program. In each, town, state, and in most countries, there are meeting schedules available for all of these recovery fellowships. It is very important that the addict has the program of addiction recovery, and the fellowship of addiction recovery at work in his life.
Some addictions require medical attention for detoxification from a particular drug. For example, alcohol detoxification can be very dangerous, and should be handled only by professionals in a medical facility. Not all cases require detoxification. In most cases of addiction, a rehabilitation center is a good choice after any necessary detoxification. In a solid rehabilitation program the addict will be able to learn several important facts: What their particular addiction is, what the solution is to overcome that addiction, and what the program of action is all about. He will learn about the fellowship of recovery, and the program of recovery, and information related to sober living.
In a recovery facility the addict will have a better chance to focus on his recovery program without outside pressures and interruptions. It is crucial that the addicted person build a solid foundation of recovery. Like a building, a life of recovery built on a weak foundation will fall. It is also important for the addict to be in a safe, structured environment, where their particular drug of choice is not readily available. Most addicted people need discipline, which also will be implemented in any reliable rehabilitation facility. The addict will not recover unless he truly wants to recover from addiction.
A bottom, or consequential event, as a result of using drugs, or alcohol, will often lead to a window of opportunity for help, and change in the addict. However, this window will only last until the addict gets comfortable once again. When this bottom, or event happens, this is an opportune time for an intervention. This confrontation should be completed with the help of experienced people, and/or professionals. A detox unit (if needed) is a good option, followed by entry into a rehabilitation center. Then recovery is up to the addict.
Open-mindedness, honesty, and willingness from the addict are crucial at this point. Support from friends and loved ones is also very important. The addict must know that he is not alone in this process. A delicate balance of unconditional love, without enabling the addict, will be needed from friends and family. Now in a safe, and structured environment, the addict will have a real chance at recovery, if he truly wants it.
Once the addict has been exposed to the basics of recovery, in a rehabilitation program, or through outpatient treatment, he should have a solid foundation of recovery. It is possible for the addict to recover without inpatient programming. However, it makes sense that this type of program is a good option. Some addicts do recover by attending recovery fellowship meetings, and working a program of action. While living at home and continuing with his job, and life, the addict attends recovery meetings.
After an inpatient recovery program, it is essential that the addict becomes involved in a recovery fellowship and program near his residence. A sponsor, building a strong support network, a home group, service commitments, structure, and guidance are crucial to recovery. There are numerous recovery publications available for the addicted person: a basic text, a step book, and a daily meditation book, would be a good collection to get him started.
The addict should have a good understanding of the first three steps of the twelve step program at this point. In step one, he accepts, and admits that he has a problem, and that his life has become unmanageable. He understands that he is powerless over his drug of choice. In step two, he comes to believe that a Power greater than himself can restore him to sanity. In step three, he makes a decision to turn his will and his life over to the care of God as he understands Him. Then the action starts.
Self-centeredness is the root of addiction. Recovery is a daily reprieve based on the maintenance of the addicted person’s spiritual condition. Shame is the core of addiction. A person is made of three essential parts: body, mind, and spirit. In the addict, the spirit is blocked by self-centeredness, or harmful self. This means that nothing gets in or out, there is no growth. The person is spiritually blocked. Because self-centeredness is where spirit should be, all the person’s basic instincts become out of balance: social instincts, sexual instincts, and security instincts.
Because these instincts are out of balance, the individual’s life will have a great deal of problems: resentments, fears, and harms to others. In the forth step of the twelve step program, the addict learns about these areas, and does a major house cleaning, or inventory of himself. The inventory is executed with the assistance of a sponsor. Step four is an effort to discover the addict’ s liabilities: the basic problem of extremes in instinctive drives. This moral inventory must be searching and fearless. This is the beginning of a lifetime practice.
In step five, the addict admits to God, to himself, and to another human being the exact nature of his wrongs. This step should be done with a sponsor, a member of the clergy, or a trusted friend. In step six, the addict becomes entirely ready to have God remove all his defects of character. In step seven, the addict humbly asks God to remove his shortcomings.
Step eight is where the addicted person makes a list of all persons he has harmed, and becomes willing to make amends to them all. In step nine, the addict makes such amends, as long as it will not cause any more destruction. In step ten, the addicted person continues to take personal inventory, and when he is wrong he promptly admits it. Step eleven, the addict tries to improve his conscious contact with God through prayer and meditation. In step twelve, the addict having had a spiritual awakening as a result of working the steps, helps to carry the message of hope to those that are still suffering from addiction. This is just a basic overview of the steps. There are very good books on this subject that are available in the rooms of recovery, and in some book stores.
The same man will use his drug of choice again! Change will come as a result of working the twelve steps. Doctor Bob of Alcoholic’s Anonymous was claimed to have once said, “Trust God, clean house, and help others!” The twelve steps put simply and beautifully. Recovery is a simple program of action, but it is hard work. The addict must be willing to go to any length to recover. This truly is a battle of life and death!
It’s important for those addicts that are still active, or who are in early recovery, to know that they have a choice, and that there is hope. It’s important that they know that they are not alone. Addiction will take everything addicts have: their jobs, their credit, their homes, their families, their dignity, their self-respect, their friends, their relationships, their health, and sooner or later, their lives.
Generally, addicts can not recover on any type of willpower, they need to surrender to the disease of addiction to recover. It’s very rare that anyone stays clean and sober on their own. Using drugs, or alcohol is only a symptom of the disease of addiction. Addiction is a thinking and a living problem. The person that tries to stop using on his own does not have a way to change, or to grow. He is simply dry, not sober. Sobriety is about changing the way he lives and thinks. Everything depends on what the addicted person wants to do. If he wants to recover from addiction, the program of action, and the fellowship, seem to be the best vehicle.
Addiction is a family disease, it impacts everyone that loves the addict. It’s important that the family gets help too. Al-Anon, Narc-Anon, counseling, and literature can help the family to understand the problem. A support network, including a fellowship seems to work best for this purpose. Addicts are sick people, don’t expect them to act like normal people overnight.
Recovery is a process, it takes time. If you walk twenty miles into the bush, then you will have to walk twenty miles to get out of the bush. It’s important not to put conditions on love, and at the same time, to hold addicted loved ones accountable, and responsible for their actions. There must be consequences for all actions. Accountability and responsibility demonstrate the willingness necessary to recover.
Daily attitudes and choices will dictate the quality of each individual’s future. Shame, like addiction, is a killer! Shame is how a person feels about himself as a result of an action. Toxic shame is when the person believes that he is a bad person, he takes this as an identity. It’s very important that the addict realizes that he has a disease, and that he is not a bad person. A person living in shame cannot recover.
Spirituality is simply saying yes to life! Recovery is all about breaking the chains of self-burden, and learning to live in freedom. Recovery is about learning to walk in the sunlight one day at a time. Recovery is about learning to be a part of the world, instead of the world revolving around the individual. Recovery is about change, and growth!
Whatever your problems are, there are others that have had the same problems, and have worked through them for a better life. Many people die each year from addiction, most never make it into the rooms of recovery. Do whatever you need to do, to get between your loved ones and drugs. Their lives may depend on it. Active addicts are blind to reality; give them a reality check. Hold the mirror up to the addict’s face, tell him how you feel. If you’re an addicted person, get help now! As powerful as addiction is, love is more powerful!
You can love the addict back to health, sometimes tough love is needed. Good choices should be rewarded; bad choices must come with consequences. Most addicts, that are in active addiction, feel helpless, and hopeless. Addicts need all the support that they can get: the support of the family, of addiction professionals, the support of the recovery fellowship, and a sponsor.
There is help to recover, and no addict has to die from this disease. The ends to addiction are jails, institutions, and death. If you have an addiction problem, please get some help. If someone you know has an addiction problem, help them to see the truth, and help them to get help. Addiction is spiritual bankruptcy; recovery is living a rich and meaningful life. Please choose life!
Elsewhere on the web, take a look at my Squidoo posts.
